Okay. Today was my first day at school without Jin Hee in America. I feel so empty right now without her. I've been crying all the time in school now, just thinking about how I would always see her here or see her there. Part of me is missing... I hate it~! The last day I saw her was Tuesday at lunch. I was complaining to someone about something.. I can't really remember, but then, all of a sudden, I felt someone hugging me from behind. I though it was Beck, but I turned around and there Jin Hee was. I screamed and hugged her tightly... God, as soon and I hugged her, I started bawling. I was shaking so much. I tried to stop myself, but the tears just kept flowing. She told me that this wasn't goodbye forever... I just kept bawling and told her to bring her ass back here for college.

People have been hugging me all day, asking if I was okay or asking what was wrong. I just said I felt like a piece of me was missing. And people were all like "Aww."

Not only is my depression back, the stress has come back as well. I have a speech I have to present on Friday and I am still completely CLUELESS. I didn't even know today was Wednesday. I just wish that I could be happy again... That would be so great. I told Jessie today that Im so glad that I have friends, or I would have killed myself off a long time ago... I just need to remember that Im not the only one that loves Jin Hee and Im not the only one feeling the heartache. When Sayo leaves... Omg, I don't even want to think about that. I think I just need a good cry... Maybe when I head off to bed in a few minutes, I'll just let all my tears go.

Here is what I wrote for Jin Hee's scrapbook :

To my dear Jin Hee,

Spending time with you been much fun. Even though you would go off on your own in the stores and I would be searching around in panic, afraid someone had stolen you; I still had so much fun. It seems like time has gone by so fast since the first day I met you. You still remember, don't you? Yoo Sun came and introduced us and you sat at our table, so quietly. I think he may have introduced us because we both (me and you) liked BoA... Or maybe it was because we would always try to include him when he was by his self and felt comfortable leaving you with us. Whatever the reason, I am so happy that he left you at our table; Even though it seems kind of sad that he left you all alone with some crazy Americans.

But Jin Hee, I have so much more to tell you. I know I was only supposed to write one paragraph, but this is too important to shorten down, you know what I mean? Jin, don't let ANYONE tell you that you aren't beautiful. You are more beautiful than any of those people could ever be; In your heart, your soul and your body. Beauty is such a rare thing to find, and I am so glad that I met someone as beautiful and pure as you. And you are not stupid! It makes me so mad that you think that! You are so smart and you can do anything that your heart wants, but you can't hold yourself back! Even if you try and you aren't successful, there will always be more chances! Life is given to us so we can accomplish our big dreams! Jin, I love you. Remember what you said to me at school when you visited at lunch? This isn't goodbye forever! That is a promise. Please do your best and come to American college. We will always be friends, even if there is a big distance between us.

Jin Hee, Grandma loves you. Don't forget us! We will be waiting for you!  > 3 <
Love, Sami.
THIS ISN'T GOODBYE FOREVER! <3

Ahh. I just want to see her again. My grand daughter. Aw Jin.